Recently,
Patrick sent in a question not so much about the AC method, but about how to go
about getting your own AC partner.
That’s
a great question, one Luisa and I tackled in the workshop we taught at a recent
writers conference. For those who weren’t able to attend the class, here are
our basic guidelines for seeking out the right accountability partner for you.
First, look for the following four
qualities:
#1: Work Ethic
You
and your AC partner should have similar work ethics. Having similar interests
and goals (such as both of you being writers, as Luisa and I are) can be
useful, particularly in situations of commiserating over problems or in helping
the other person find solutions and in breaking goals down into realistic
pieces.
But
you don’t necessarily need to be in the same field or have the same interests,
provided that you both are determined to reach your goals, whatever they may
be, and you’re both committed to daily taking the steps necessary to reach the
goals.
Unbalanced
levels of work ethic will spell disaster for an AC partnership.
#2: Fluency in E-mail and Texting
The
AC method relies on the modern technologies of e-mail and text messaging. Those
are how you and your partner will share your to-do lists each day and how
you’ll then report on your progress throughout the day.
One
of the pillars for the success of the AC method is the power that something as
simple as instant reporting and feedback can have on keeping both partners
moving forward to cross off the next thing on the list.
We’ve
see AC partnerships fizzle and die when one partner simply doesn’t like to
text, forgets to keep their phone with them regularly, or otherwise doesn’t use
texting technology.
In
a similar way, the method cannot work if both partners aren’t sending their
lists via e-mail regularly.
Finding
someone who e-mails and texts with comfort isn’t a guarantee that you’ll be
successful partners, but the reverse just may be true: someone who isn’t comfortable with the technology is
almost certainly not the partner for
you.
#3: Positivity, Support, and
Patience
No
one is perfectly happy all day long, every day, all year round. We all have our
ups and downs; that’s a natural part of life. For Luisa and me, it’s also a
reality that’s a result of clinical depression and anxiety disorders.
That
said, we are both very much aware that we get more done and are far more likely
to succeed when we’re supporting each other. When I’m having an off day, I can
vent to her, and she’ll send me motivating texts back. I do the same for her in
return.
If
something falls off the list over the course of the day, we don’t nag each
other about it. We give each other the benefit of the doubt, keep cheering, and
encourage each other to simply try again tomorrow.
In
a similar vein, we rarely give each other direct advice unless it’s asked for.
Sometimes we may offer a suggestion, such as I wonder if X would help or Have
you considered Y? It’s been useful for me. But typically, unless one of us
asks for suggestions, the other keeps her mouth shut and instead waves her
pompoms and cheers the other on.
We
have been close friends for many years now, and we know each other very well.
As a result, we can offer some unsolicited suggestions or advice here and
there; we know when the other may be receptive to it—and we know when to clam
up. If you’re just getting going with your AC and you’re sure you have the
answer to all of their problems, your best bet is to sit tight until asked for
your opinion.
#4 : Trust and Honesty
An
AC partnership is one based on trust and honesty; I have to know that when I do
ask for Luisa’s opinion that what she tells me is her real opinion. That goes
for suggestions for improvement as well as for times she cheers me on. A
meaningless congratulations wouldn’t keep me motivated, but Luisa doesn’t send
meaningless congratulations. She’s genuinely happy for my achievements, as I am
for hers.
Exercise
Write
down at least five people you know who have a similar goals as yours, whether
that’s in scope, industry, or based on some other factor.
Now
looks at the four other elements.
CIRCLE
those on your list who share a similar work ethic.
UNDERLINE
those on your list who are comfortable e-mailing and texting.
PUT
A STAR by those you know to be positive, supportive, and patient.
PUT
AN ARROW next to those who are honest and trustworthy.
Do
you see a pattern emerging? Who on your list is the best fit for you?
Start
there. Buy them the book to introduce them to the concept of AC partnering, and
then give it a shot together.
A
FINAL TIP:
If
you are eager to have an AC partner who is in the same field as you are, start
out by going places where people in that industry hang out. For many trades,
that means attending local conferences, clubs, and other meetings. It may mean
finding a Yahoo or Facebook group and interacting with people there to find
potential friends and AC partners.
Many
of the AC partnerships we’ve seen develop since sharing our method have come
about in those very ways, specifically, writers meeting each other and connecting
at writing-related events, becoming friends, and deciding to give the AC method
a shot. Very often, the partners have been, as Luisa and I are, in different
time zones. In at least one case, the partners are in different countries
(although the same continent) as well.
Hang
out with your people, even if “your people” tend to be introverts. Remember:
Even an introvert can e-mail and text with ease.
